Carson Griswold wanted to end his life after strangling his grandmother. He had the entire thing planned out — burn the house down and then shot himself all at once. Things didn’t quite work out for Mr. Griswold, when he lit the match the house exploded.

An all-beef-patty, a slice of fried bologna and two cheese sandwiches covered in mustard — a Chicago restaurant is serving up a delicious tribute to Govenor Blagojevich.

Ex wife uses child’s Teddy Bear to spy on her husband. The bear doesn’t have much to say, though interviews with the furry friend prove that it’s still mortified by the “insertion” process. Both the bear and the husband are expected to file suit.

Virginia parents are being charged for child endangerment for not keeping their six year old from taking the family car out for a spin.

According to police, the six-year-old took the family’s Ford Taurus after missing the bus to school. Investigating officers said the boy was very distraught about missing the bus, and badly wanted to get to school.

The child managed to drive about ten miles before losing control of the car, eventually crashing into an embankment and a utility poll.

The boy was treated and released, and was able to return to school.

Source

We will file this one under “not quite so lucky after all.” A Connecticut woman (who really does seem lovely) recently won the lottery after playing for 20 years. Which would be great except for the next part. Her husband bought the winning ticket, a few days before dying of a heart attack.

In what might possible be the easiest labor in recorded history. As she was walking to the door of her truck Heather Spaulding pushed and well . . . the rest is an interesting story to tell her daughter in about 10 years.

…in the form of a cheese sandwich. If you don’t pay your bills in this New Mexico school, be prepared to life off of cheese and milk. We understand the need for budgeting, but there was probably a better way.

After being struck by a 2lb slab of concrete, a Colorado truck grabs lunch in Grand Junction and makes his way to Utah — unfortunately, he doesn’t remember doing either. Time flies when you have major head injury.

Woah—that’s one big baby. Weighing in at 14 pounds, two ounces, Richard Walker Sault entered the world two days before Christmas. The doctors, yes multiple doctors, who delivered the baby were too tired to comment.

In another case of “When people take pets way too seriously,” Billy the Chihuahua is now a pinup in his very own calendar. That’s right people. This dog has done what all you wannabes out there couldn’t do—made something of himself.

Don’t hold up women in South Bend, lesson learned.

Stilwell Police Detective Chad Smith said he was investigating the September burglary of a local insurance company when he noticed a tobacco stain on a pile of papers in the ransacked office. "None of the ladies that worked there chewed tobacco," Smith said. "You could tell that the stains were from the suspect." Smith said he took a sample of the spit and sent it to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation for testing. He soon spoke with detectives in Tahlequah, who already were looking at Shoopman as a possible suspect in a string of burglaries. Tahlequah Detective Jeff Haney obtained a warrant to get a DNA sample from Shoopman, which linked him to several burglaries in which the suspect left behind tobacco spit, Robertson said.